the day you go commando
is not the day
you want to find out
that your pants
have a hole in the crotch
- F: If only I could be a buffalo ....
- K: A buffalo?
- F: A buffalo. Yep. A big buffalo.
- K: Not a small buffalo?
- F: Are there small bufallos ... buffalo? Bison?
- K: Buffalo, I think.
- F: Sure.
- K: Yeah. There are baby buffalo.
- F: But that's not the same as a small buffalo.
- K: You just want to wake up one morning and discover that you've been turned into a giant buffalo?
- F: Not a giant buffalo. Just big. If I was giant, they'd turn me into a tourist attraction, then.
- K: Put you off the same exit as a Paul Bunyan statue and the biggest ball of string?
- F: Exactly. Just let me wake up on day as a buffalo -- nice and big and hairy and heavy and hooved -- and let me just do what the buffalo do.
- K: Which is what?
- F: I plan to find out. I'll text you when I do.
- K: But you'll have hooves.
- F: So, maybe, then, you'll have to come visit, and I'll tell you in person.
- K: That'd be nice. I've never seen a buffalo before.
- F: Me either.
- K: You want to be something you've never actually even seen before?
- F: Wouldn't be the first time.
weather report says today’s high will be 58
so i’ve thrown open my trunk full of sweaters
If no one says “deconstruct” or “contextualize” in class, you can request a refund for those three hours.
Fact No. 4, Footnote 1: No one has ever actually received a refund.
- *federal agents knock down little girl's door, take her computer*
- yes, virginia, there are intellectual copyright laws
you either die with good taste or live long enough to see yourself subscribe to something with new york in the name
glasses make me look like the person someone like me would probably look like – and that is not fair
idea: national day to remember all the other national-something-days, sponsored by general electric.
february 30th — it’s not wednesday, it’s the commodification of time.
went to ikea
felt like a bad person